Chapter 4: So suddenly after spending all this time seducing Ana, Christian suddenly gets all noble about warning her off. WTF? What’s more, Ana is so attached to this guy she met not even a week ago that she’s “bereft” without his touch. I thought she was electrocuted by his touch. Silly me. At least she acknowledges the fact that her emotional pain is nonsensical.
Also, how many times is it necessary to say that Ana doesn’t like coffee. I’ve counted 3 times so far. And I haven’t been counting the number of times it’s mentioned that Christian’s eyes are gray, but it’s been covered. I think I got it. He has gray eyes.
Christian stays away from Ana for a while– which is probably something that he should have been doing in the first place if his intentions were really all that noble. Then on the day she takes her last final exam, she comes home to find a package containing 3 first editions of Tess of the D’Urbevilles with card bearing a cryptic quotation from said book—seemingly a warning. Ana and Kate both conclude that the first edition of this particular book is so expensive that they could only come from one person—Christian Grey. But why did he send them to her? Instead of waiting until the sober light of day to call, write or smoke signal Christian to ask this very question, our wise-beyond-her-years Ana drunk dials him from a bar in Portland. Our corporate executive, upon receiving an unexpected phone call from a drunk college chick he met last week, rashly decides that he must power his five-star ass from wherever he happens to be all the way to an unknown bar in Portland to go get her. Despite the fact that Ana didn’t tell him where she was, it seems only 5 or 10 minutes before Christian magically shows up to rescue Ana from a potential sexual assault by her friend José.
Moments after her rescue, the alcohol finally catches up with Ana and she tosses her cookies on the ground outside. She wonders whether this is the worst moment of her life, but grudgingly concludes that it’s not. Apparently the worst moment of her life wasn’t throwing up half her body weight after getting smashed for the first time, oh no, it was the brief moment when Christian Grey gently rejected her at the beginning of this chapter. Someone’s led a sheltered existence.
How did he find her so quickly, you ask? Well, he’s still in town at the hotel and-oh yes- he tracked her cell phone to find her. TRACKED HER PHONE.
José is wary of Christian, as was Ana’s hardware store buddy Paul. Why does every other man in this story look upon Christian with suspicion? That’s suspicious.
Back inside the bar, Ana’s subconscious mind is chiding her for her reckless behavior as Christian orders her to drink a glass of ice water. Now Ana’s subconscious is wearing half-moon specs? I’m wondering if this isn’t more of an inner persona than a subconscious mind.
Not 5 minutes after she’s turned herself wrong-side out in the bushes outside, she’s back inside the club gyrating with our multi-billionaire friend who, I must add, is a terrific dancer. More foreshadowing: Ana remembers that her mother has told her to never trust a man who can dance, but then again, her mother may not be Ana’s source for shining, reliable relationship advice, since she’s on her third marriage.
Christian had the sense to bring a wingman this time; his brother Elliot is with him and is more than willing to romance Kate while Christian takes care of business with Ana. You’ll be shocked to find that the chapter ends with Ana passing out in the club.
(Little Black Book of Cocktails, of course)
1-1/2 oz. light rum
1 tsp. simple syrup
Juice of 1 fresh lime
Muddle mint leaves with simple syrup in a chilled old fashioned glass. Add cracked ice, lime juice, and rum. Fill with soda water and garnish with more fresh mint leaves.
(adapted from the recipe above)
1-1/2 oz. light rum
1 tsp. simple syrup
Juice of 1/2 fresh lime
Same recipe as above, only add equal measures soda water and mango nectar.
I don’t know if I’ll make it through this book. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just not very good.