Fifty Alcoholic Beverages

Fifty Setups for an S&M-based Storyline

Chapter 2: In all honesty, even though I’m less than immersed in the plot here, I’m not as blown away by disbelief as I thought I would be. Ana’s response to Christian is far more realistic than his response to her. I know if I ever met a wildly attractive, charismatic multi-billionaire, I would probably have a very similar response—caution and near complete disbelief. Her curiosity about his answers to some of her interview questions and her attempts to talk herself down from her emotional high are realistic enough. Thank God for small blessings.

One thing that annoys me: this chick bites her lip a lot. I’ll bet it’s chapped.

Ana is allergic to questions. “So what did you really think of him?” is not an inquisition. It’s a question, and I think it’s the first time her roommate asks her anything specific about Christian Grey. Ana responds like she’s been put in the hotseat under spotlights and given the third degree. It was one question. Chill.

Ana laments the fact that she has never felt about any man the way book heroines feel about the men they love. Reality check, girlie: the reason no real man ever makes a woman feel the way that heroines in novels do is because novels are fantasies. Just like this book.

How many times do we really need to be told that Christian Grey has gray eyes? How many? Because I think I know by now and we’re only in chapter 2.

Christian has suddenly appeared at Ana’s place of employment: a hardware store. Guess what kind of scene we’re setting up here. Do it. Just guess. If you said it’s foreshadowing the S&M element to come, you’re right.

She swoons over Mr. Grey’s super sexy voice. Problem: a voice that’s warm and husky does not equal “dark melted chocolate fudge caramel” and then Ana reacts to it like a deer in the headlights, like a teenager in front of her first crush. Certainly a woman of 21 can do better than that. She acts all shy and she’s muttering answers to his questions! Why is she muttering? And by the way, self-conscious and clumsy and trying to be cool— this is what’s attractive to a successful businessman? Ana even asks the question herself, “Why would this beautiful, powerful, urbane man want to see me?” She’s right; the idea is, in fact preposterous.

Here’s another thing, every time they touch, Ana feels an electric shock. Like an actual jolt of electricity. Shouldn’t that be a problem? I’d be worried. Plus, he’s buying S&M rope at a hardware store. I know that this whole scene in Chapter 2 is a setup for future action, but a man who is supposedly experienced at S&M should know to buy rope from a sex shop. He’s clearly just satisfying his own fantasy here.

Bella Swan twin alert! Ana also has men falling all over her. 2 chapters in and she’s got 2 other guys, besides our intrepid billionaire, who are trying to vie for a date with her. But of course she doesn’t want anyone but Christian, who has suddenly become crazy possessive over a woman he met one time.

End of chapter 2 and our heroine has finally been able to admit to herself that she likes this guy. Wow. I would never have guessed.

And now for our cocktail options!

Blue Velvet Martini

(guess what book it’s from. Clue: same as the last post.)

1-1/2 oz. vodka

1/4 oz. blue Curacao

Dash of Rose’s lime juice

Stir with cracked ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a slice of lemon. (We’re lightweights, so we added some pineapple juice. It was pretty good.)

So blue. When we added the pineapple juice, it became turquoise.


(same book as above)

1-1/2 oz. vodka

2 oz. cranberry juice

Juice of 1/4 fresh lime

Stir with cracked ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wheel. (We added more cranberry juice, because again, we’re lightweights)

This one was pretty good.

More to come! Enjoy.

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