Tuna Salad

Not the most exciting of topics, I realize, but the reason I’m including it here is because my roommate bought a giant-ass jar of mayonnaise yesterday. I’m driven by a strong desire to rid my kitchen of this offending article in an expeditious manner. Tuna salad, as it happens, is something I could probably make in my sleep and lo! It contains lots of mayonnaise.

Probably among the first foods I learned how to make was tuna salad. Mom would build her salad in her olive drab Tupperware bowl that she bought as part of a set in the 1970s. She would start with cheap canned tuna, Chicken of the Sea, drained, then layered on top of that was chopped boiled eggs, chopped celery, and of course, mayonnaise. It was simple enough for a small child to lend a hand, and she usually set me to work peeling the eggs, which was my second favorite part of the process.

The best part was getting to lick the spoon after my mom measured out the couple tablespoons of mayo that she added before stirring the whole concoction to a relatively homogenous tuna salad consistency. We ate it in sandwiches, on crackers, on a bed of lettuce—suffice to say it was a diet staple of childhood that I don’t eat all that often anymore.

So here’s to flashbacks and nostalgia! Here’s to tuna salad!

1 can tuna

2 hard-boiled eggs (A Night at the Opera, anyone? Or am I the only one who thinks of that here?)

1 rib of celery, chopped

2-3 Tablespoons mayonnaise

1 Tablespoon mustard

Salt and pepper to taste

Start by cooking the eggs. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but I make perfect hard boiled eggs. Here’s how: put the eggs into a saucepot and add enough cool tap water to cover them completely.

Put the pot on the stove over high heat; when the water comes to a boil, cover the pot and turn the heat off.

Set a timer for 15 minutes.

After the timer goes off, drain the pot, shake the eggs around a bit to crack the shells, then fill the pot with cold water and let stand until the eggs are cool enough to peel.

Meanwhile, add to a medium bowl (or Tupperware) the drained tuna and chopped celery.

When the eggs have cooled, give them a rough chop and add them as well.

Stir in the mayo, mustard, salt and pepper.

Don’t forget to lick the spoon.

But does it get roommate approval? ………..